blog | about | contact | origins | help
 
  
Share |

I'm a single male Jew, 35 years old, well established in my career. I am now at the point where I am considering dating for marriage. I know intermarrying is wrong. However, I am terrified of dating a Jewish girl for fear her family would inevitably discover my entire family is dead, and that I would be by definition be a poor choice for suitor into any good family. All grandparents are dead. My father died of old age, my mother and sister committed suicide (presumably due to abuse by father). I've had my share of abuse by father as well, which has affected me. I've been nonobservant and have not gone to synagogue for the entire past decade just to avoid being reminded of the hurt. I've engaged in a lot of therapy, which has helped me to hear, an that is why I am even considering dating at all. Do I just throw up my hands, tell myself I am not fit to marry, and just live for work? Or would the other side be at all understanding of my background and situation? What should I do and how can I balance the mitzvot to marry and have a family, against my situation which makes me question if I can be a decent spouse and parent and fulfill the obligations to a family?




LATEST BLOGS  view all blog entries

Punishing children for their parentsí sins

Posted on 09/20/2019 by Moshe Daniel Levine in Beliefs and Practices
You know the story. The Jews are waiting down at the base of Mt. Sinai for Moshe to bring down the tablets. The people...

I, CAIN

Posted on 09/19/2019 by Rabbi Dan Ornstein in Holidays
The World’s First Murderer Talks About Killing His Brother, Abel. You read the Bible story of how I murdered my...

Potty Humor. Potty Prayer.

Posted on 09/17/2019 by Rivkah Lambert Adler in Beliefs and Practices
At least in our culture, children seem to naturally think that the human digestive system is funny. When our own children...

The Rosh Hashanah Table

Posted on 09/16/2019 by Marcia Goldlist in Beliefs and Practices
No matter where you are on the religious scale, you still eat dinner on Rosh Hashana. You may have a quick dinner of left...

Re-Analyzing the Biblical Law Against Homosexuality

Posted on 09/09/2019 by Moshe Daniel Levine in Beliefs and Practices
This is going to be a long article - probably double the length of my normal writings. The issue of homosexuality in the...

Have a Good Day!

Posted on 09/09/2019 by Marcia Goldlist in Beliefs and Practices
I recently went to a hospital for a regular appointment at a specialty clinic. As I walked through the foyer of the hospital...
JVO Panel  of Scholars
           
 
NOW ADD JVO CONTENT TO
YOUR WEBSITE A FREE SERVICE
 
Click here for instructions to embed the
JVO "JEW Q's" widget on your website.
 
Jewish Values Online

Home | Search For Answers | Ask A Question | About | Contact Us | OriginsUseful Links | Blog | Help | Site Map

Copyright 2014 all rights reserved. Jewish Values Online
 
N O T I C E
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN ANSWERS PROVIDED HEREIN ARE THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL JVO PANEL MEMBERS, AND DO NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT OR REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE ORTHODOX, CONSERVATIVE OR REFORM MOVEMENTS, RESPECTIVELY.